2012 / 16 May

What A Day!


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“Water, e no get enemy!”

Famous lyrics of a very famous song! However, recent occurrences have caused me to wonder about the truth in these words. Am I saying that the famous Fela was a false prophet? NO!! I just don’t know any fella called Prophet Fela…do you? I thought not!

So, it was a Sunday morning and as early as 6am, the heavens began to weep! What started off as just normal sobs eventually turned out to be something akin to a Mushin raised child crying because he stole meat from the pot that morning, was caught and was told the dreaded words: “Wait till your father gets back!” You know that feeling right? When you know your father will beat the hell out of you and the thought of it makes you cry from the moment you hear it till the moment he walks in! Yup that’s how the rain ‘cried’ all day.
It didn’t even help that it was a Sunday and church choirs couldn’t just decide to be smart…they decided to go ‘with the flow’, singing songs like “Open the Floodgates of heaven”, ‘Let the rain of your presence fall”, “Showers of blessings” amongst others…As the rains increased, I’m sure these choristers must have felt ‘at sea’ with the effect they had made. However, I doubt even their faith could have prepared them for what lay ahead.

After service, the whole Abraka looked like the scenery for TITANIC 3. I’m like WTF? (What tha flood?) Someone had asked “God why?” and I wonder if God was thinking, “if I could just find one Noah in VI to build an ark”… but do you know anyone by the name Noah in this time and age? My thoughts exactly! Its funny though cos while many were stranded as a result of the floods, many others in the comfort of their homes were making good use of the weather! S/O to the kids that will be born on May 12th 2013.

Life is funny you know. Somehow, disorganization seems to reveal who we really are. Guys, if you want to know that chic for real, wait till she’s in a messy situation. I saw chics who normally will strike me as those that never fart or eat beans and stuff. You know them now, they’re all over The palms…yeah! Those heel wearing, cat walking, BB pressing types. You should have seen what they morphed into…heels in hands, muttering words that had no semblance to their usual ‘yeah’ ‘finna’ and ‘innit’…stuff sounded like “iru ojo wo leleyii gaan” (what kinda rain’s this) and if you as much as said ‘Hi’, you’ll get something like “ab’oloshi ni e nii?”
(come are you crazy!) Babes were not smiling o! Brazilian hair and wigs gone ‘down the drain.’ haha! One lady’s wig developed a mind of its own and was far ahead of her in the flood..she was caught between the wig and the deep brown flood! Eventually, she decided to ditch the wig (some guy will remedy that afterall)… And for the guys, it didn’t matter if you were in a Range or a G-class, if it wasn’t a 180horse Powered, wooden interior, alloyed paddle CANOE, then you were not winning! You couldn’t pick the chics cos no one wants to push in the event you enter a hole or the car just stops.

*sidebar* I’ve ordered my neighborhood carpenter Monsuru (who sits in a corner wearing Dolce & Gabanna) to get on the canoe making job for me..i cant carry last!

Ok, at this point, I’m wondering where I’m going with this…errrmm..I should just stop, yeah? Yup! I thought so too! You could have told me earlier that you were tired though, *shrugs* ah well..wrapping up…I just wanna…oh fack it.

*Drops nokia phone*

I often wonder what my life would have been like, if I could peek at
DEAR FUTURE WIFE,Its a boring Saturday Morning. I'm lying in my bed....doing absolutely nothing which
I woke up before her and as I tried to slip away quietly she said
I woke up in his arms... I hadn't opened my eyes...I knew where i was.
You are probably thinking I am crazy and should be impaled on a stake while
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