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Hi, I'mHendrix Nwaokolo

Anatomist (B.Sc)

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What is a Blog

So I was talking to someone(a friend) after reading a piece from her, and I was like “open a blog” and her response “I’d end up writing bad stuff.. It’ll be like a place i just express my anger”

If you don’t know, “blog” is an abbreviated version of the German word Hïlderblōgen , which translates literally to mean “a safe, public place to tell your deepest, darkest secrets, and to drone on and on about any tedious detail that pops into your head, uncensored, because no one will care to read it anyway.”

Let’s dissect the various features included in the definition of a Hïlderblōgen .

1. Safe
The fundamental truth behind the Hïlderblōgen is that you can safely share absolutely anything on your mind, from ill-informed political views to utterly mundane stories about your childhood (omitting insight gained from the experiences), and even your stalker-like obession with someone whose full name can and should be included in your writing.

A Hïlderblōgen is like a plant you give a name and tell all your dirt (look, a pun!), only instead of a plant that has no capacity for storing or recalling information, it’s a virtual journal that anyone can access through a basic Google search, if only there was the slightest desire in another human to read it.

2. Public
You might be thinking, “If a Hïlderblōgen is just a way for me to express my thoughts and feelings, why don’t I buy a plant like everyone else, or get a pet, or a journal?” Herein lies the Hïlderblōgen ’s greatest power and seduction – it is public . That means a writer can experience the rush of exhibitionism without the actual risk that someone might see what he’s writing because absolutely no one is interested. In fact, the more a writer can tap into the infinite depths of his self-indulgent and write mercilessly while deluding himself into believing that it might be enlightening or empowering to someone else, the better.

3. Uncensored
This feature is closely related to two others – unprepared and un edited .
For a Hïlderblōgen to achieve its genuine tone, the writer mustn’t think through what he wants to say before he starts saying it. Thinking sometimes leads to insight, which has no place in his writing. Besides, if people wanted to read actually-meaningful content (not that anyone will be reading his post), they would just listen to an audiobook or watch An Inconvenient Truth .

While he is writing, he should not refrain from saying exactly what’s on his mind at the time. “Social etiquette” and “political correctness” hold no weight over a Hïlderblōgen . Even if he’s writing about an experience that involves the privacy of others, the writer should include every intimate detail he can remember.
Once the writing is finished, the post should be published immediately. No editing or revising is necessary, and even a cursory once-over can lead to discovering areas where his ideas weren’t accurately expressed. Avoid these misleading doubts at all costs. The most honest version is the first version, unprepared, uncensored, and unedited.

For years now, people have proudly created millions of Hïlderblōgûåđrn (plural form), bravely refusing to offer anything profound, instructional, or even the littlest bit interesting. Instead, they zealously post banal summaries of errands, as well as trite and ever-recycled quotes from authors they’ve never read or leaders they know nothing about. Sometimes they will also include a picture of a small animal dressed like a human, or a video link they “discovered,” boldly ignoring the million views it has collected without the generous free publicity from anyone’s sweater-knitting Hïlderblōgen . This last stage ensures a writer is fully utilising his online voice.

With Thoughts in Word Form , I only hope to achieve a fraction of the gloriously mind-numbing effects of so many Hïlderblōgûåđrn who have come before me.

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.

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