2012 / 15 November

Another Break-up Story

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“You don’t call me anymore…”
“You only call me when you want to have sex…”
“I asked you the other night, who was calling you at 5 A.M., you just brushed it off…”
“I feel like you’re using me…”
“I don’t fully trust you…”
“Why did you makeup with me after our abrupt break-up 2 weeks earlier?”
“Do you really care about me?”
“You’ve put me through too much emotional turmoil…”
“You can’t keep dumping me like this.”
“I don’t hang out with my friends like I used to because of you.”
“I’ve made a lot of sacrifices for our relationship”

Typical conversation in a relationship on the rocks. Not surprising, upon reading this, we have placed everyone in their (gender) role. We assume the female is the poser of the questions and is met with such a loud response of silence.

Tobi and Gloria met at an event and they quickly found each other very attractive. They would talk every day and night on the phone and online…they used every means of communication known to man. They could not get enough of each other. Gloria quickly started to feel she had met the man of her dreams. He liked the same things she liked. He was just the perfect match for her; a modern day man who respects strong women with great ambition, Tobi was Gloria’s dream come true.

After one week of knowing each other, they became an item. Tobi and Gloria was always together. Tobi could not believe it. He was with this beautiful woman with all the qualities he wanted. To add sugar to the Garri, she was fantastic in bed. “Wow!” From time to time, Tobi would ask Gloria why she was with him. “I don’t have a house, I am just a young man trying to climb to the top. I’m not a doctor…” On and on Tobi would question Gloria’s true intentions. “You are somebody, you have a degree, you’ve survived a lot of things in your life, you’re a strong man. You make me happy, you treat me with so much respect…I feel like you’re my soul mate” Gloria would always assure him.

As if the relationship was not perfect enough, Gloria would cook for Tobi, clean his apartment, do the dishes and so on. She even planed a surprise candle lit dinner for him, in which she modelled new lingerie she bought from Victoria’s Secret, for desert. ” Wow, no one has ever done this for me, ever in my life.” Tobi would say, over and over again. And Gloria, filled with love, would always assure him that he deserved it and even more.

Suddenly, Tobi stopped calling as much. “What’s going on? Why aren’t you calling me like we you used to?” Gloria asked Tobi one day. He replied by telling her he was getting busier at work. Gloria, trying to be understanding, would go to Tobi’s apartment and spend more time with him. She always made the effort to make the relationship strong.

Tobi started to pull away even more. Gloria would wonder what the problem was and would ask Tobi from time to time if he needed to tell her something. She wondered if he was just too scared to accept love, or if she was just smothering him. Tob, who is an only child was abandoned by his own father (who is a yoruba man o) at some point in his life, and when it was time for the next family member ( his own mother, also a yoruba woman) to take over custody of him, she refused and allowed him to be placed in a foster home.

You see, Gloria felt this overwhelming motherly instinct to protect Tobi and make up for his lost years by showering him with so much love. Tobi wasn’t too bad of a boyfriend himself. He was amazing in bed. Did EVERYTHING a woman would want a man to do, to please her..
She started to find out that Tobi was spending more time with his platonic female friends. These were the friends he told Gloria about in the beginning of the relationship. Gloria had no problem with Tobi having lots of female friends, he considered them his sisters who made up for the lack of family in his life. She just assumed they would know their place, or at least, Tobi would. One problem, they were over protective of Tobi and would always make him sceptical of Gloria’s intentions.

Months passed by with Tobi’s coldness. After several sleepless nights and endless tears resulting from unanswered questions, Gloria decided she wasn’t going to waste her time any longer. They would break up and get right back together. Several times.

Eventually, Tobi started getting fond of Gloria. He cut down on the time he spent with his friends and made more time for her. He even gave her his second car. He was always a very thoughtful person. When he could, he would make sacrifices for her every chance he got.

Funny thing is, Gloria was already gone. It was Tobi’s turn to cry her a lagoon! The set of questions above are the questions Tobi asked Gloria right before their final break up.

Ps. The characters above are in no form related to any ‘Tobi’ and ‘Gloria’ in real life. If it matches any body in real life, it is pure coincidence.

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