We have a featured writer Today. He’s a good friend of mine.. Enjoy.
Have you ever had an extremely bad day, I mean a really bad day. Am talking like when you wake up in the morning, your head is aching so you stand up to see yourself in the mirror and to your surprise you see that you have got a gigantic pimple on your forehead and your remember that you have a presentation.
Hmm mm. you toss back and forth, left and right, you are reluctant but then you check the time and its ten minutes to your presentation, “My gosh what am I going to do”, you think to yourself “ok ok let me get myself together ”, it’s just a bad day right? So you head for the bathroom to take your bath but your towel is not there “what in the world” thinking, thinking, where could I have dropped it “oh never mind there’s no time” I’d bath like that you say? You turn on the shower but it keeps making belches but no water, you run off naked to get one bucket from the kitchen but its empty “shit I forgot to fetch water yesterday” because you were too tired from yesterday’s hangout.
Arghhhh “you shout” gash your teeth and tighten your fists “what is happening to me” you think to yourself but you remember what the pastor says that we should be positive at all times so you check the time but its three minutes to your presentation. You run again to the parlour thinking that you would go without bathing, without brushing and with the big pimple on your face. You keep moving, no matter what, you don’t let anything stop or discourage you, then you get to your wardrobe to take your premeditated shirt for the occasion but it’s squeezed and it’s two minutes to the presentation already “help me God” you pray, then you rush speedily to brush through the shirt with your long unused pressing iron and when it gets hot enough you press it against your cloth and then your phone rings.
Eager to pick the call,curious to know the caller you dash towards the phone but you fall down “OMG I stepped on a rat” you reach for the continuously ringing phone, your hand moving left to right searching for the little noise maker because you are on the floor. finally there’s the phone“hello” you say!…it’s your friend already at the presentation venue “where are you boy we are about to start” he says, you shrug your shoulder and say you are already on your way, After you cut the call “what’s that acrid stench” something is burning “there’s nothing on the fire now” so as you stand up to get to the kitchen the odour pricks your nose further and you sight your favourite dress burning.
“shit I forgot the iron” you run to lift it up but it’s too damn late, the shirt is toast, so you shout at the top of your voice that the neighbours can hear you but everybody is busy because there’s light (there’s hardly light), not to be pessimistic your take a step forward again “one more try” you think! And its five minutes past the time of the presentation so again you reach for another shirt, squeezed but after what just happened you wore it like that, put on your trouser, your wrist watch and shoes and then headed outside, there goes the phone again “hello” it’s your friend again “nigga where in the world are you” but you answer “nearly there please” and cut the phone, you call a bike man and he charges you heaven and earth but you don’t mind “just for today” you think, please hurry, you tell him. The bike man moves swiftly, swerving left and right then all of a sudden stops “what’s the matter” you ask “I am out of fuel” he says. “But, but” you mutter.
Still being optimistic you look forward and see you’re almost at school hmmm you hand him the angrily squeezed 200 naira note and begin to run towards your destination. Two minutes later “finally the gate” but then you remember that you did not collect your change from the bike man, so you turn your head backwards “hmm too late, he’s gone” you take two steps forward and ponder because the bike man had said no fuel “then how did he, oh forget it”, “yep there’s my venue” but then people are gushing out of the venue “oh no” the presentation has ended “after all the stress” sad, tragic but as if that’s not enough your phone vibrates then rings out, all of a sudden the ring tone is annoying “hello” it’s your landlord, your house is on fire. Eyes wide open, legs paralysed, mouth numb, whole body shaking, phone becomes heavy so you drop it.
Then you shout again but this time with the roar of a wounded lion. All the people gushing out of the auditorium including the professors can hear you “this guy has got issues” they think. Indeed. But they have no idea what you have been through. How do I get home? You ask yourself because that was your last money you gave the bike man. After brainstorming for minutes you sit on the floor beside your nokia 2020, the grass pricks you but you don’t mind, mighty soldier ants climb you like an ant hill, but what more do you have to lose. Then one ant climbs your face and bites you and then you wake up……………sweating profusely
“IT WAS A BAD DREAM”
NOT A BAD DAY
By. JONERO MENSCH