2013 / 13 July

An ODE To N̸E̸P̸A̸ PHCN


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Sitting outside savouring the cool evening breeze, I listened to my neighbour, as she rains curses upon the poor creature again.

She punctuates her stream of curses with slaps and claps, as her hands seek the mosquitoes that are, our ever present tormentors in this compound.

Unfortunately, her slaps often miss their targets, instead making painful contact with her skin. This worsens her already foul mood.

I sigh, thinking that perhaps she’s too hard on her, this creature that has been part of all our lives for so long. Instead I try to reflect on all the ways she has been useful to us, especially my wife and I, since the breakdown of our third and last generator.

When the romance in my marriage was starting to wane, she brought us closer.

We had candlelit dinners, and long walks under the moonlight. She taught us to eat healthier, consuming our food fresh from the stove, no freezing and reheating. She also brought us closer to our neighbours, causing us to sit outside and socialise in the evenings.

Who would have thought Oghogho next door was such a good singer? Or that Baba Ada could tell such interesting stories?

She has helped to sharpen our wits and our grammar, through frequent games of Ludo and Scrabble. She has even helped me rediscover the joy in little things, like the evening breeze, the scent of the frangipani planted in our compound, or crossword puzzles in the daily papers.

And although I too may curse at her once in a while for her erratic behaviour and unbearable rudeness, I have grown to accept her as an inevitable part of our lives. Even when she changed her name; we still choose to refer to her by her original name, the one we have grown so fond of overthe years.

And though we are quick to rain curses and insults upon her, we are even quicker to commend her when she decides to grace us with her generosity and kindness. Our cheers can be heard through the whole neighbourhood….

“Up Nepa!!!”

Disclaimer: Explicit content contained therein. Parental Guidance Strongly Advised. If you are offended by sexual
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