2013 / 27 July

Mr. Wizkid Ruined My Life


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Now before Mr. Wizkid sues me for slander, and wins of course, let me present to you the facts to prove it
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You see, once upon a time I was blissfully unaware of wizkid’s existence and it was during this period I was comfortable approaching women who were way out of my league with an air of confidence that I actually stood a chance with them.

The fact that I always struck out with them is besides the fact at this stage, as I had a variety of reasons as to why. These need not be explained or shall be addressed if and when I am s̲u̲b̲p̲o̲e̲n̲a̲e̲d̲ to do so.

There was a time when decently average men such as myself(thank you) stood a chance, however slim, with said women. We prevailed with our wit, our humour and on the rare occasion, our personalities won a seemingly impossible victory for the little guy.

Then came musician/Actor(if you’ve watched return of jenifa, *coughs* daz’all) WIZKID.

At first glance, he is just another square jawed leading man, whose success is based purely on his Denzel Washington kinda like looks.

This was my first assumption too, and when female friends pointed his “hotness” out, I merely guff awed at a yet another jock who had fooled the masses into thinking he was all that and bag o’chips.

His role on “the return of jenifa” was being praised, and the movie itself garnered awards by the truck load. At this point, lemme tell you his role in the said movie…..

He had no fu*@king role!

But With Captain America looks, you can get everything you want, because the masses won’t see the rest.

I’m by no means non attractive….or at least I’d like to hope so, but what chance does a fair, slim guy such as myself have with perfect 10s if guys like Wizkid are now becoming the funny guys, or the guys with personalities.

Couldn’t they have just stayed on their side of the fence?

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