I folded myself on the bed, assuming the fetal position. Her words spiraling in my head. Little by little, everything she had just told me started coming back.
I couldn’t make sense of it, no matter how hard i tried. They were like fleeting thoughts, blinking in my head, giving me an explosive ache.
I tried to picture his face, nothing came of it. She had told me that she was already betrothed to someone at home, that they were probably gonna wed when she graduated and went for service.
They had known each other from childhood and both families wanted them to get married. Before we resumed that semester, her mum told her about it.
She said she was confused about the whole arrangement, and wasn’t sure she loved the guy, but could not say no to her family and his.
That was the semester we met, she said she didn’t know what drew her to me, even when she knew she was older than me.
The entire time she spoke, i noticed she refused to say anything about loving me.
Damn i felt used, i felt betrayed. This was my first love, my first everything.
And it was leading no where. Now when i think about it, i realize how it would have been perfect for a player, or how i would have reacted to it now i was older and no longer naive, although am still a hopeless romantic at heart!.
I had a golden opportunity, great sex and fun, with no strings attached.
Something every guy would kill for, but only a handful will ever experience.
No, you don’t do that to a kid in love.
It’s just like buying a toy car for a child, just when you’ve taught him how to play with it, you smash it into smatterings in front of the him.
Only people who have really loved hard, and felt a heart wrenching heartbreak would get the picture I’m trying to paint.
It really did feel like someone pulling away my heart, taking something precious from me.
What shocked me most was that I still loved her nonetheless, I couldn’t live with what she told me. I couldn’t imagine leaving now. I was gonna enjoy it till the last minute. Yes,the very last minute.
She came into the room, lazily lay on top of me. I didn’t turn around, she started petting me, kissing me all over, telling me she was sorry.
She said she had meant to tell me earlier on, but didn’t want to ruin what we had. That made two of us,i thought. I couldn’t resist her touches, even now i was mad.
I turned around, lay my head on her chest, and wept softly.
I know a man isn’t supposed to cry, but i couldn’t help it, the tears made me strong, i would have exploded if i had tried to hold it back.
She drew me nearer into her cocoon, were i was safe and sheltered,her warmth shielding me from the cold world.
From then on it was pure bliss between us, our bond grew stronger and she became more fond of me. Now i knew our relationship would not last, i decided to make the most of it while it lasted, and she did the same too, although i still secretly wished for the faintest glow at the end of the tunnel.
She helped me get over the love thing, assuring me that we’ll always be special to each other, and that she would never forget me, no matter what happens.
Most times we tried to avoid talking about it, instead we focused on the present, being there for each other, and seizing the slightest excuse to spend time together.
Damn we became inseparable those days, and the sex was mind blowing each and every time.
It was hotter than the last time, then hotter again the next time, and then the next time again.
Sometimes it’ll be at my place, then other times we’d do it at her place.
People who knew me before said I changed a lot during those few months, even the way i carried myself, the way I dressed and above all the way I saw myself.
Good sex and an alluring company really does wonders to you. My confidence was at an all time peak, and I learnt something else from her, which to this day is still part of me, her happiness and the way she saw life.
She loved mischief a lot and would always try to make you laugh at the slightest opportunity. Yes, my Stephanie was graceful and full of humor. She was an enigma, she was my first and i remember her not in a bitter way, but in the sweetest fashion possible.
Reminiscing about our many sexcapades always elicits some sort of kinky nostalgia within me.
One time she spent the weekend at my house, we made love every were possible. We were virtually always unclad when we were alone, especially when we slept. I remember one incident that almost embarrassed me in front of my friends.
It was early in the evening, and three of my friends were in my room. We were watching a movie with the lights off, as we normally did at times. We were lying on the rug, while Stephanie was snuggling beside me, with my friends sandwiching us.
Midway through the movie, I felt her left hand snaking into my shorts. I froze. I pinched her hand to deter her and she giggled. My friends must have thought it was because of the movie.
She started steering my wheels, while still pretending to watch the movie. It was dark, but for the faint blue light emanating from the TV set. I was afraid my friends would notice what was going on, but they were completely oblivious.
Her driving expertise left me inundated. She would steer slowly, sway my potholes from side to side with great professionalism, before returning back to cruise control. It was at such a slow pace that i almost died from holding back.
I considered standing up and excusing myself, but I knew her all too well for that, I couldn’t chicken out, or she would tease me about it all week. She kept on steering me, all the while spotting a wicked expression on her face.
What almost knocked me off my game, was when she placed my wheels between her fingers, rubbing it up and down, using my oil as a lubricant. Damn, I coughed hard to hide the pleasure, she innocently asked if I was ok, my friends asking too. I said I was fine, boy I couldn’t wait for that damn movie to end. The night was surely gonna be a long one..
– To Be Continued