Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

I‘m currently stuck at the mechanic’s, watching my car being poked and prodded while my mind wanders off. It’s funny how life can surprise you. Almost nine months ago, I was in a car accident with this same vehicle. Coincidentally, while coming from a child naming ceremony and now I’m sitting here on my birthday, contemplating the circle of life. While my loved ones would have been feeling sorry for me, yesterday, someone out there was probably celebrating the birth of a new child – thanks to a wild night of passion their parents had nine months prior. Life, huh? It’s a beautiful, crazy thing.

There’s something about aging that freaks me out. It’s the feeling that time is slipping away, and there’s so much left to do. It’s the sense that everyone else is so much further ahead in life, while I’m still stumbling around in the dark, behind. Then there’s also that phase of rejection emails. It’s almost like a newsletter I’m subscribed to at this point.

I know, I know – there are a million inspirational quotes about how age is just a number, and how you’re never too old to chase your dreams. And most of the time, I believe them. But on my birthday, it’s like all those doubts and insecurities come flooding back. Being an adult is a weird thing. You’re expected to have it all together, to know what you’re doing, to have a clear vision for your future. But the reality is so much messier than that. Life is unpredictable, and no one has all the answers.

Also, there’s this other thing where I’m madly in love with someone who lives thousands of miles away. I mean, what are the odds?

I’ve heard stories of people telling other people to be weary of long distance relationships. That it almost never ends well. Truth is, it’s actually not easy. The distance is a constant struggle, and there are times when it feels like the universe is conspiring against us.

But despite all that, I know that this person is the love of my life. I can’t even bear to look at another woman the way I look at her let alone even initiate a conversation that’ll lead anywhere to me being attracted to them. It doesn’t feel the same. So I’m what you called stuck .

Yet, It’s not easy. It’s not perfect, but it’s real. Love doesn’t listen to logic and it never goes according to plan. Because despite it all, we have love, we have hope, and we have the courage to keep going. It’s a constant struggle, but it’s worth it.

And maybe that’s the key – realizing that life isn’t perfect. It’s messy and complicated and full of surprises. And that’s okay. It’s okay to not have it all figured out, to take things one day at a time, to admit that you’re still learning.

So as I blow out the candles on my birthday cake, I’m grateful for the love in my life, the challenges I’ve overcome, and the lessons I’ve learned. Life is far from perfect, but it’s beautiful in its imperfections. And maybe, just maybe, that’s enough.

Happy Birthday to me and once again, Happy Anniversary to me and mine.